Lucy Foley studied English literature at Durham University and University College London and worked for several years as a fiction editor in the publishing industry. She is the author of five novels including The Paris Apartment and The Guest List. She lives in London.
A REESE’S BOOK CLUB PICK
THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
ONE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BEST THRILLERS OF THE YEAR
“I loved this book. It gave me the same waves of happiness I get from curling up with a classic Christie…The alternating points of view keep you guessing, and guessing wrong.” — Alex Michaelides, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Silent Patient
“Evok[es] the great Agatha Christie classics…Pay close attention to seemingly throwaway details about the characters’ pasts. They are all clues.” — New York Times Book Review
A wedding celebration turns dark and deadly in this deliciously wicked and atmospheric thriller reminiscent of Agatha Christie from the New York Times bestselling author of The Hunting Party.
The bride – The plus one – The best man – The wedding planner – The bridesmaid – The body
On an island off the coast of Ireland, guests gather to celebrate two people joining their lives together as one. The groom: handsome and charming, a rising television star. The bride: smart and ambitious, a magazine publisher. It’s a wedding for a magazine, or for a celebrity: the designer dress, the remote location, the luxe party favors, the boutique whiskey. The cell phone service may be spotty and the waves may be rough, but every detail has been expertly planned and will be expertly executed.
But perfection is for plans, and people are all too human. As the champagne is popped and the festivities begin, resentments and petty jealousies begin to mingle with the reminiscences and well wishes. The groomsmen begin the drinking game from their school days. The bridesmaid not-so-accidentally ruins her dress. The bride’s oldest (male) friend gives an uncomfortably caring toast.
And then someone turns up dead. Who didn’t wish the happy couple well? And perhaps more important, why?
Lucy Foley was suggested to me by a dear college friend (Thank you, Erika!), so I knew she’d be my next read. We find out pretty early on that there is something mysterious that happened while the guys were at boarding school together that may have included someone dying. It’s mysterious as to who or what throughout the book. We also find out that something happened with/to Charlie on the stag (bachelor party) that was pretty severe but no one will talk about it.
The narrators for this book are Aoife, Hannah, Charlie, Olivia, and Johnno. Each chapter of the book bounces between the perspective of each of these characters and between the present and past. At first, the sequencing irritated me, but when I got to the middle of the book, I absolutely loved it. There are some twists, folks, and I WAS HOOKED. The more I read, the easier and easier it is to guess the endings. This one surprised me, and because of that, I highly recommend. I am reading The Paris Apartment next, and I’m excited to see if that one lives up to Foley’s reputation.
Olivia – Julia’s bridesmaid and half sister (they share a mother), withdrawn and not at all happy to be at her sister’s wedding, recently had a traumatic breakup
Will – Julia’s groom, tv star
Julia (Jules) – Will’s bride, owns a magazine called “The Download”
Hannah – Charlie’s wife, feels like a fish out of water in the posh, expensive surroundings of the venue and the wedding guests, the “plus one”
Alice – Hannah’s older sister, commited suicide
Charlie – Hannah’s husband and Julia’s best friend and best man, MC for the wedding day/night
Aoife (pronounced EE-fa) – the wedding planner and owns the wedding venue property
Freddy – Aoife’s husband and resident chef on the property
Pete – groomsman, boarding school friend
Femmy – groomsman, boarding school friend
Duncan – groomsman, boarding school friend
Johnno – Will’s best man, became friends in boarding school, surley, brooding, forgot his suit for the wedding and borrows Will’s spare
Barbara Kingsolver is from Appalachia and set out to write The Great American Appalachian Novel… AND DID SHE EVER.
Y’all… 21 hours and 3 minutes (560 pages) and I SAILED through it. LISTEN TO THIS BOOK instead of reading it. The narrator is absolute perfection. No one could be a better Demon. Unlike some of the reviews I’ve read, I absolutely wanted it to end. This is not an easy read. It made my heart bleed and overflow almost simultaneously. Regardless of his misfortune and addiction, Demon IS SO GOOD. He remains so good throughout the entire book, which is a testament to humanity as a whole. He describes the happy times of his childhood as anyone would. I can relate to his descriptions of playing with friends outside during childhood years. This gives us all a thread of continuity and weaves us into Demon’s train of thought and perspective.
I loved Ma and HATED Stoner and Romeo. These men prey on single mothers and are horrific subhumans. I literally reacted to much to the gut wrenching parts of this book that my Apple watch congratulated me on my workout… and I wasn’t working out… While most of us aren’t Ma and Mariah, we feel like it. Motherhood is so hard and we all feel like we are failing unforgivably sometimes, and honestly, sometimes we are. Parts of this book made me recall my inadequacies as a mother and wonder how my kids will remember it all. I was angry at Ma for staying with Stoner, but in her position, and as beaten down as she’d been her entire life, she’d just given up years ago. I can’t imagine and I’m grateful I am not and never will be in that position. I was so stupid at 18 years old, but I thank God for family and resources that would never let me sink into Ma’s life.
This is a necessary read and truly a work of art. I was up at 3:30 am this morning thinking about Demon and his chosen family, as they aren’t fictional characters at all. There are countless Demons and Emmys and Dories and Junes and Hammerhead Kellys and Tommys and Fast Forwards all over our great nation and the world, surviving as they know how. I watched several documentaries that realistically depict the drug epidemic in Appalachia. The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia is a 2009 documentary film directed by Julien Nitzberg chronicling the White family of Boone County, West Virginia. It isn’t an easy or tame watch, but I highly recommend it. It elicits the same emotional rollercoaster as this work. And under the differences, traumas, addictions, lifestyles, and intensity is the raw underbelly of people just doing their best to survive bigotry, shame grief, and hunger. Most humans on the planet can relate in some way to that.
The style is unmatched. It reminds me of Cutting for Stone in the sense that you need to read it slowly to absorb all of the beauty, but I loved it even more. I loved the way Demon references religion and the Bible. I can totally see his perspective. And OH MY GOODNESS the figurative language in this masterpiece… Otherworldly. It addresses society as a whole – poverty, addiction, domestic violence, child abuse, discrimination in various forms – while fostering the connective heartbeat of raw, unfiltered humanity straight through all of the impossibilities and devastations.
Some of my personal favorite gems from this masterpiece…
“Pestering the tit of trouble”
‘The monster truck mud rally of child services”
“Keeping secrets from young ears only plants seeds between them.” (woosah….)
… and that is just in the first 11 minutes…
“One nation, underemployed”
“A thing grows teeth once its put into words.”
“Spittin’ poison in my brain” referring to Stoner’s influence on Demon regarding Maggot’s sexuality
(Most of the character analyses for this book are paraphrased from LitCharts. There are a ton of characters and I was so enamoured with the writing that I didn’t take great notes…)
Demon Copperhead – Demon, born Damon Fields, is the novel’s protagonist. Demon is born in a trailer bathroom to a young mother who is addicted to drugs. Throughout the novel, Demon struggles to overcome the circumstances of his birth—poverty, generational trauma, and his mother’s addiction, which he ultimately inherits. He serves as an example of the hardships that people in Appalachia face as a result of external forces like inadequate social services, poverty, and a lack of employment opportunities. Demon’s character, in particular, helps illustrate the harm caused by pharmaceutical companies that targeted the Appalachian region and overprescribed opioids they knew to be addictive.
Ma – Demon’s mom is young when she has Demon. During Demon’s childhood, Mom works at Walmart and tries, at various times, to enter recovery from addiction.
Maggot – born Matt Peggot, is Demon’s closest friend growing up. Demon spends as much time at Maggot’s house as his own. When Mom becomes involved with Stoner, Stoner forbids Demon from spending time with Maggot because he suspects that Maggot is gay.
Stoner – Murrell Stone, nicknamed Stoner, is Mom’s boyfriend who is physically and verbally abusive to Mom and Demon.
Satan – Stoner’s dog
Mrs. Peggot – Nance Peggot, more often referred to as Mrs. Peggot, is Maggot’s grandmother who, along with Mr. Peggot, helps raise Maggot after his mother, Mariah, is sent to prison. The novel portrays Mrs. Peggot as kind and caring, and she and her husband become a surrogate family to Demon.
Mr. Peggot – Mrs. Peggot’s husband, is a kind and patient man, He helps raise Demon. He sustained a leg injury while working in the mines and has not walked easily since.
Mariah Peggot – Maggot’s mother, serving prison time, 18 when she went to prison, due to retaliating for domestic violence.
Romeo – Maggot’s father, egotistic and self-proclaimed too good for Mariah, “A fox in the hen house” as Mrs. Peggot says
Emmy – the daughter of Humvee, who passed away before the novel takes place. After Humvee died, the Peggots took in Emmy. When Maggot’s mom was sent to prison, though, the Peggots couldn’t raise two children, so Emmy went to live with her aunt June in Knoxville. June eventually formally adopts Emmy. Emmy is depicted as smart and wise beyond her years.
Aunt June – Maggot and Emmy’s aunt who becomes Emmy’s adoptive mother. June is a nurse in Knoxville who then moves back to Lee County to be closer to her family. She also steps in to help both Demon and Emmy when they are at their lowest and then financially supports their journeys to sobriety.
Angus – born Agnes Winfield, is Coach Winfield’s daughter. She does well in school and initially plans to leave Lee County to go to a four-year college as soon as possible.
Fast Forward – the larger-than-life football star who Demon first meets at Crickson’s farm. At first, Fast Forward seems charming to everyone who meets him, and Demon thinks of him as a kind of real-life superhero. As the novel, progresses, though, this charming façade peels away to reveal a darker, more sinister personality.
Coach Winfield – takes Demon in and helps raise him. Demon lives with Coach and Coach’s daughter, Angus.
Dori – Demon’s girlfriend. Demon is surprised to learn that Dori is a heavy user of opioids, which are prescribed to her father Vester, who is dying of cancer.
Tommy Waddell – one of the foster boys whom Demon meets at Mr. Crickson’s farm. The novel portrays Tommy as a sweet, kind, caring, and gentle person. Tommy is one of my favorite characters in the book.
Dr. Watts – the doctor for the football team and the doctor at a pill mill, a kind of pain management clinic that will write prescriptions for anyone who pays for one.
Kent – Aunt June’s boyfriend who is a pharmaceutical representative. Kent’s job consists of trying to get doctors to prescribe opioid painkillers more often.
Hammerhead Kelly – a cousin in the Peggot family, related through marriage. He is a sweetheart.
Miss Barks – meets Demon when he is 10, one of Demon’s case managers through the Department of Social Services (DSS).
Mr. Crickson – the foster parent whom Demon first goes to live with after Mom overdoses.
U-Haul – born Ryan Pyles. Coach Winfield’s assistant who will later become an assistant football coach.
Mr. Armstrong – an English teacher at Demon’s middle school. He recognizes that Demon is a strong student and recommends him to the gifted and talented program.
Ms. Annie – the art teacher at the high school. She encourages Demon to pursue his talent for drawing. Ms. Annie is married to Mr. Armstrong. Ms. Annie is white and Mr. Armstrong is black.
Mr. Ghali – the owner of Golly’s Market
Rose Dartell – one of Fast Forward’s friends, though Fast Forward seems to treat her only with contempt. Rose seems jealous of Demon for the attention that Fast Forward gives him.
Flag football was a little wild this year, and I think it will be our last year, but I’m glad Kannon got the experience of two years. He played because he wanted to carry the ball, which he can’t do in tackle, and no one ever passed to him either year he played. We will concentrate on tackle.
My amazing friend, Karie, invited me on a Royal Caribbean cruise in January. Thanks to my mom for keeping the kids! Karie and I had a great time and can’t wait to do it again! We went with her brother, Robert, his partner, Austin, and many other amazing friends. It was an absolute blast.
I turned 42 on February 6th. Dad was here and took us to dinner. I got to spend it with some of my favorites.Papa Sam came to our last game of the season which happened to be on my birthday. Valentine’s flowers from my sweet kids (and Daddy)!Basketball is the name of the game in January and February. This is Anaiah’s favorite season and she improved so much from the beginning to the end this year.February began and ended with rabbits. We have showed for two years and are taking a break this year. The kids are so busy with sports and other activities that we decided not to show anything this year, but have our sights set on a lamb for Anaiah next year.
Track season is OUR season! Anaiah KILLED it this year. The girl can run… and she is extremely competitive.March and April is the heat of track season. Our girl is a natural runner… but doesn’t actually like running. She does it anyway, though, because winning makes most things fun even if you don’t necessarily like it.
We drove to Missouri to visit our cousins, Hannah, Tyler, and Jensen, for Spring Break 2023. We had a smooth trip and loved our time with family. We have been traveling long distances since the kids were tiny so they are great travelers and don’t get on each other’s nerves as long as our earbuds are charged.
The spring is just as busy as the fall with track and baseball going on at the same time. Kannon’s baseball season is from February to May and Anaiah’s track season is from February to April so we are MOVING during these months.
If you’ve been around for any time at all, you know Kannon’s dance moves are just as much a part of any sporting event as the actual game…
We made the trip to China Spring for Easter. The kids had a great time with cousins at Papaw and Dooda’s after hunting eggs at Aunt Lindsay and Uncle Blake’s house.
We wrapped up baseball and tennis in May. It was filled with finishing out the school year and both kids getting numerous awards for their athletic and academic efforts.
In May, Kannon decided to be a band kid! The band director told him he had perfect tuba lips, and we know flattery gets us everywhere with him… so tuba it is!
Another Cousin Camp, this time in Marble Falls, for the kiddos! This may be our last one, as the kids are getting older and have busy schedules, even in the summers these days.We spent most Sundays at Splashway during summer months with some of our favorites. We had a scare and spent the better part of a Sunday evening in the ER in late June. Thankfully, nothing was broken and we left with just some ice and a sling. We took Anaiah’s pictures right before her 13th birthday. Much love and thanks to Leann G Photography and Destiny Saenz (Insta @_beautybydes_) for an amazing session! This dynamic duo cannot be outdone!
After pics, we were off to Rosemary Beach for Anaiah’s birthday week. We stopped for the night in New Orleans to explore the WWII Museum and partake in some amazing food. The video below accurately depicts each child’s enthusiasm level while touring the museum. Kannon was so excited when we walked through the doors that he literally cried, which made me cry. It was the sweetest. Anaiah only survived because the white sands and Rosemary Beach shopping were less than two days away…
We ordered Anaiah’s custom cactus cake from Cava and Cakes 30A. We HIGHLY recommend them if you are ever in the 30A area and need a bakery. It was amazing!
Our GG’s 50th birthday surprise party was in Big Spring a few days after our Florida trip. We were able to make it and wouldn’t trade the time we spent there for the world… It was much needed and we will see Charlie and Gina more in the New Year.
August
Kannon started his band career at the beginning of 6th grade. We have an amazing band program here in Yoakum and are very excited to watch him and his tuba become best friends!
Volleyball is underway for Anaiah. This is her second year and these ladies are in it to win it.
Anaiah and Rebecka after their tournament ^
Football season officially starts, and that’s where we spend all of our time.
Thankful for amazing educators that put up with my son’s charisma… I received this video from one of our favorites… She is a true saint!! Please keep all his teachers – past, present, and future – in your prayers!!
Kannon turned 12!! I can’t believe this kid is almost a teenager.
Cross country and football take over our fall. We had a wonderful cheering squad at the district meet including Dooda, Aunt Lucea’n, and Kannon.
We enjoyed the eclipse in our backyard with the help of a welding helmet.I went to Georgetown for my dear friend’s divorce party, and we were all more than ready to celebrate! Whiskey Cakes was the perfect location for the festivities, and Kristin couldn’t have done a better job planning the party.
Rae Rae rescued me on Halloween by taking Kannon trick-or-treating and Anaiah and I attended our church’s Trunk-or-Treat event. Check out the gorgeous poster Anaiah created.
Papa Sam was able to come to a game, and we always love when he’s here. Kannon gets bored of just having Anaiah and I in the stands cheering for him.
Brian, Kannon, Johnny, and Anaiah on their way to tennis camp the day after Thanksgiving
Our first hot pot experience! It was delicious and we all had a great time trying all of the new foods and sauces.
Kannon’s annual Thanksgiving weekend swim overlooking Lake Madeline
Mom came to Yoakum to attend Anaiah’s basketball game and our town’s annual Christmas on Grand.
A week later, Dooda, Papaw, and Bailey came for Kannon’s first band concert. The kids all did an amazing job!
Kannon is in the back, but check out his tuba pump at the end. He wanted to make sure I knew where he was. I love this kid!
I got tired of myself when trying to complete this post, so I’m giving up and just publishing it. Next year’s will be complete! (Maybe… no promises…) – Chass
January
We began 2022 with Covid. Anaiah and I were down for a week, and somehow Kannon skipped it. Both of them got excused absences for the week, so both of them kinda loved Covid by the end of it all. We basically had cold symptoms, and that’s about it.
February
I turned 41! I’ve earned all of those years so I don’t mind getting older.
We celebrated with going to my favorite store, Junk Gypsy, in Round Top and eating at Royer’s. Highly recommend if you’re in the area.
A few weeks later, we were able to celebrate in Gruene with my girls.
March
The kids stayed active in 4-H with rabbit projects. Anaiah and Kannon showed at the Cuero Livestock Show on March 1st and didn’t place. Anaiah is showing again this year and we are hoping for a better outcome. She is also making a quilt and pajamas for Project/Homemaking Show.
April
Kannon played baseball again last spring with Yoakum Little League. He enjoyed entertaining the crowd and eating an average of 3 pickles per game, as well as the actual baseball part of baseball season. We all lived at the fields for most of the spring and are grateful to have amazing friends who help get us through the every sports season.
May
Kannon played flag football for the first time last May. It was a lot different than tackle football, but he got to work on his speed and coordination more.
June
I overloaded Kannon with summer camps to keep him busy, and Anaiah and I followed him around Texas while exploring new places and working remotely. He attended Mo Ranch in Hunt, Texas from June 12 through 18.
The following week we attended our annual cousin camp in Granbury with the Munkebys, Staubers, and Dooda.
We highly recommend the Air BnB.
July
June 26 through July 2, Kannon enjoyed Pine Cove Christian Camp in Columbus, followed by 4-H Prime Time Youth Camp in Brownwood July 10 to 13. A weekend trip to Port Aransas was next. We spent some much needed beach time with Kristin, Ava, and Cash in the pool and at the beach. Kristin and I agreed that beach trips look a lot different than they did 20ish years ago…
July 17 we began a week-long stay with Kristin and Ava while Kannon attended Camp Half-Blood at McKinney Falls State Park in Austin. During our week with the Thompson girls, Anaiah turned 12!
We rounded out July with a quick trip to Lakeway with Karie, Brayden, and Averly.
August
Kristin turned 40 and Gina got married in the same weekend. I know a guy who knows a guy with a plane, so we pulled it off. Kristin’s birthday weekend was in Fredericksburg, and Gina and Charlie’s wedding was in Big Spring. Dad picked me up at the Fredericksburg airport at 2 pm on August 13th, and I was in Big Spring as a bridesmaid in the wedding by 4 pm. I was back in Fredericksburg by 8 pm to continue celebrating with Kristin and the ladies. I was so grateful to be able to make both events.
The kids started the 5th and 7th grade August 17th. This was the first year we didn’t get a “First Day of School” picture with both kids because Anaiah had to be early for athletics.
Anaiah started volleyball and found her place as a setter. Her team did great for their first time playing and I definitely look forward to seeing them grow in the coming years.
Anaiah was nominated vice president of our 4-H chapter in August. She will be showing rabbits, making a set of pajamas, and participating in the Cuero Homemaking show, along with Kannon, next February.
September
Kannon turned 11 on September 12th. He had football practice on his actual birthday, so we celebrated the weekend before with Papa Sam and friends at Yamato.
Anaiah started cross country and found her niche. She loves to run and is extremely good at it. She tied for 4th in district this year, with only 8th graders ahead of her in placement. She is starting the season next year as the front runner in our area for junior high. Anaiah was on the bus by 6:00 am many Saturdays while her friends were sleeping in. I am so proud of her dedication!
October
Kannon began his tackle football season in August and finished at the championship game in October. It was a hard loss. After some tears and hugs, Mexican food, once again, came in clutch and cured all. His best friend, Kase, joined the team this year. We were overjoyed to do the football life with one of our favorite families. The coaches give so much of themselves to these kids and it definitely shows on and off the field.
We had a great time hanging out with friends and trick-or-treating with friends who are family. We are blessed to live in a small town where kids and parents can still walk down the streets and collect lots of warm greetings and candy.
Anaiah and Kannon helped at the annual
November
We spent Thanksgiving in Galveston with our Zeidan family. Fouad graciously took Kannon, Johnny, and Brian to Moody Gardens so Dad, Anaiah, and I could go hit up the Black Friday Hobby Lobby sales.
December
We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at home in Yoakum. Papa Sam came to visit us and the kids got pretty much everything on their lists.
We also got family pictures taken by the amazing LeAnn Green. She was amazing with our crazy and we highly recommend her for any and all occasions.
We finished out 2022 at Dooda and Papaw’s in Chima Spring celebrating our Stauber Christmas.
We wish you all a wonderful and prosperous 2023! Below are some miscellaneous pictures that make us smile from the previous year. Thank you for coming along with us on this crazy ride called life!
It’s important to believe in happily ever after. It helps. I don’t know if I’ll ever find that one person to spend happily ever after with, but just the hope it offers is quite comforting. The general consensus of the masses is that we should say, “I love you” more, and there are endless examples of this everywhere we look. “Love makes the world go ’round.” “All you need is love.” Both ideologies are overused and absolutely false. We should mean it more and say it less. Love has become an excuse and a loose interpretation for any number of things, at the very best.
Love is a get-out-of-jail-free card in our society. “But I love you…” And that is supposed to mean what? The definition of love varies so drastically from person to person. We give it so much power. Love can make or break days, months and decades, if we allow it. I sit in random coffee shops and bookstores and work on my computer, read while I’m eating lunch, or write while I’m soaking up some vitamin D in the park. I hear a socially predominate idea of love resonating so much more than any other. “If he loved me, he would have put the clothes in the dryer.” “If she loved me like she says, she would let me go out with my boys.” “If he loved me, he wouldn’t have slept with her.” “If she loved me, she would remember that I don’t like crunchy peanut butter.” I actually have heard every one of these and then some in the last few weeks, and every time, I cringe. This interpretation of love is disgustingly self-serving. Me, me, me. I’ll tell you what it means to love me. This is the modern, stylish, chic interpretation of love. It’s easy, comfy and sexy.
Love is not self-serving. Love is not romance novel material. It isn’t sexy or gentle or smooth. It is serious, intense and uncomfortable. It requires an individual to sacrifice and plow through virgin snow with vengeance and disregard. And you have to do these things and expect nothing. Shakespeare once said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Part of love is not expecting. It is letting go when your brain and pride tell you the complete opposite. Sure, you don’t want to hurt, but loving means you definitely will at some point. Lovers, kids, grandmas and everyone in between will hurt you at some point. No kind of love is immune. Heartache is part of love, and ultimately makes it stronger and more stable. We are taught to avoid heartache and despair at all costs. If you love, these things will find you. But, trust me, its not as awful as you’ve been lead to believe and not all bad, either.
Alice Walker once said, “Nobody is as powerful as we make them out to be,” and that is real talk, my friends. But you are never more powerful and confident than after you’ve conquered a huge storm in your life, even if you crawled all the way through it while sobbing hysterically. You made it through, and it makes you more powerful and better armed to fight another day. And how much more do you have to offer those you love after fighting hard and coming out on top and stronger than ever? So heartache and despair really aren’t the enemies in love. In fact, we need them to chisel us into a more complete person.
Love is hard and intense and really very exhausting sometimes. Please remember, though, that hard and intense and exhausting aren’t necessarily negative. I have been told I love very hard, and I do. I take that as a compliment. If I love you, I will walk through hell for you. I really will, and I will have a smile and a hug for you when we both make it out. I do not expect that from anyone else. Most people aren’t capable of it, and that’s very important to accept. I can take a lot of hits in many different ways, and I don’t mind doing it if it helps the ones I love. Everyone has his or her strengths.
Loving hard means I don’t say “I love you” lightly. It’s awkward when someone says it and you don’t say it back, and that’s been me a lot over the years. However, I’ve never said it and wanted to take it back. Relationships fail as time persists, whether they are friendships, family or romantic in nature, but fault seldom has anything to do with love. We are all human, and that tends to get in the way. Obviously, none of my romantic endeavors have withstood the test of time, but I don’t regret a single one of them. Regret is a waste. I’ve learned from each of them and chosen differently according to what I’ve learned. I’m discovering more about myself, others and the world around me daily. My wise friend, Yvonne, periodically reminds me that it is a process, not an event. I forget that and I push, rushing things and ultimately creating a stressful mess. I attempt to force a conclusion when the process continues to rock along, whether or not I prefer it that way. Love is a process, not an event. As humans, we are egocentric, obstinate and strive to compartmentalize everything we think and feel so we can digest it more easily. This isn’t possible with love. Some things are bigger than we are, and that is okay.
Regardless of the inevitable flaws, being human is lovely and beautiful. Every single member of my family is very human, has unmistakable, obvious faults and every single one of them is immeasurably beautiful. I learned what love means from my family. It sounds cliché, but its true. I was and continue to be taught to love hard, completely and every chance I get. My cousin, Katy, remembers every birthday, anniversary and holiday. She makes every single one of us feel special with her kindness and consideration, and she does it without expecting anything. She’s a busy mom of three and a devoted wife, but she takes time out of her world to bless ours, and that is lovely and beautiful. I remember birthdays days in advance, then I forget, then I remember again in the shower the day of, ultimately failing to recognize them at all. I’m just not that good. We all have out strengths, and that’s not mine.
Love was my grandmother’s strength, all day, every day. She used to peel the strings out of my celery because I didn’t like chewing them. Occasionally, I would get mad for some crazy, unsustainable, nine-year-old reason and scream at her, telling her I hated her. Unmoved, she would grab me, hug me tight and tell me it would really hurt her feelings if she thought I meant that, but she knew I didn’t. Then she’d ask me what I wanted for dinner. Love. No expectations. Hard. Thankless. Life-saving. Life-giving. So beautiful.
That’s how my kids love and that’s how God loves. It isn’t a coincidence. We try other ways and explain it in language and deeds that are easily digested and fit best in our busy, frivolous lives and into this brutal world, but the truth remains. The greatest of these is still love. We just have to dig deep and love like we are made for it, because really, we are.
Pretty Colors Unabridged 